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Simian Sculling
Just some apes in boats.
Rowing the Tsugaru Strait
It looks like there’s a train that goes across the water anyway…
Dates: 2026-05-27 – Present
Meters rowed: 22,896
Total meters: 19,452.1
Completion Percentage: 100.0%
| Name | Meters Rowed | % of Total | Time Rowed | Calories Burned |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jim Chimpsky | 12,000 | 61.69% | 1h 21m 12s | 603 |
| Oar-angutan | 5,896 | 30.31% | 0h 30m 10s | 318 |
| Ham the Ast-row Chimp | 5,000 | 25.7% | 0h 24m 40s | 277 |
Circumnavigating the Globe like Magellan
Will we mutiny as well?
Dates: 2026-04-17 – Present
Meters rowed: 308,292
Total meters: 56,478,072.1
Completion Percentage: 0.55%
| Name | Meters Rowed | % of Total | Time Rowed | Calories Burned |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ham the Ast-row Chimp | 133,958 | 0.24% | 12h 51m 40s | 7,323 |
| Jim Chimpsky | 123,224 | 0.22% | 13h 20m 05s | 6,179 |
| Oar-angutan | 42,520 | 0.08% | 4h 01m 13s | 2,200 |
| Mo Monkeys Mo Problems | 8,590 | 0.02% | 0h 45m 13s | 450 |
Archive
Rowing the Catalina Channel
You already know what Wine Mixer occurs here.
Dates: 2026-05-24 – 2026-05-26
Meters rowed: 32,805
Total meters: 31,796.4
Completion Percentage: 100.0%
| Name | Meters Rowed | % of Total | Time Rowed | Calories Burned |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ham the Ast-row Chimp | 15,073 | 47.4% | 1h 25m 49s | 812 |
| Jim Chimpsky | 12,000 | 37.74% | 1h 13m 04s | 613 |
| Oar-angutan | 5,732 | 18.03% | 0h 30m 05s | 305 |
Rowing the Molokaʻi Channel
The sharks and man-of-war jellyfish won’t impede us.
Dates: 2026-05-16 – 2026-05-23
Meters rowed: 49,551
Total meters: 44,131.5
Completion Percentage: 100.0%
| Name | Meters Rowed | % of Total | Time Rowed | Calories Burned |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jim Chimpsky | 24,018 | 54.42% | 2h 30m 50s | 1,229 |
| Ham the Ast-row Chimp | 20,050 | 45.43% | 1h 48m 38s | 1,102 |
| Oar-angutan | 5,483 | 12.42% | 0h 30m 06s | 285 |
Rowing the Cook Strait
Also known as Te Moana-o-Raukawa, which is probably better than naming it after a colonizer.
Dates: 2026-05-12 – 2026-05-15
Meters rowed: 41,277
Total meters: 22,722.0
Completion Percentage: 100.0%
| Name | Meters Rowed | % of Total | Time Rowed | Calories Burned |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jim Chimpsky | 17,021 | 74.91% | 1h 42m 42s | 879 |
| Oar-angutan | 12,161 | 53.52% | 1h 10m 16s | 622 |
| Ham the Ast-row Chimp | 10,063 | 44.29% | 0h 59m 24s | 545 |
| Mo Monkeys Mo Problems | 2,032 | 8.94% | 0h 10m 02s | 110 |
Rowing the North Channel
Also known as the Sruth na Maoile or the Sheuch.
Dates: 2026-05-04 – 2026-05-11
Meters rowed: 72,773
Total meters: 55,576.7
Completion Percentage: 100.0%
| Name | Meters Rowed | % of Total | Time Rowed | Calories Burned |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jim Chimpsky | 27,744 | 49.92% | 3h 02m 33s | 1,375 |
| Ham the Ast-row Chimp | 25,223 | 45.38% | 2h 29m 42s | 1,389 |
| Oar-angutan | 13,248 | 23.84% | 1h 20m 36s | 670 |
| Mo Monkeys Mo Problems | 6,558 | 11.8% | 0h 35m 11s | 340 |
Rowing the English Channel
People can swim this, right? Surely we can row it.
Dates: 2026-04-17 – 2026-04-23
Meters rowed: 44,270
Total meters: 43,050.6
Completion Percentage: 100.0%
| Name | Meters Rowed | % of Total | Time Rowed | Calories Burned |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ham the Ast-row Chimp | 24,240 | 56.31% | 2h 24m 55s | 1,304 |
| Jim Chimpsky | 20,030 | 46.53% | 2h 11m 26s | 980 |